Music Jokes: Woodwind & Brass

Here’s where my own instrument comes into play in this series of jokes about musical instruments.
Have a look at the section on Strings here.
Unfortunately, I didn’t find very many clarinet jokes, but there was one in particular that I loved.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he’ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one. [I love this one, as a clarinetist I know it’s SO true]
What’s the definition of “nerd?”
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
How do you know a clarinet player is playing loud?
You can almost hear them.
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
What’s the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Why can’t a gorilla play trumpet?
He’s too sensitive.
How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn’t.
What is the dynamic range of the bass trombone?
On or off.
These two tuba players walk past a bar…
Well, it could happen! [emphasis mine

I found all of these jokes on the website
Visit it if you want to see even more musical jokes. I just thought these were the best.
Please leave comments, and come back in three days for the next post.